What is it about a cute baby that makes seemingly normal individuals turn into cannibals? Now you may think I've went off my rocker here but it's true. When confronted with an adorable baby, many people's reactions land in this realm. As I sit here and write this, the echos of statements like "God I could just eat her up!", and for those of you whose vernacular tends to lean more towards the country, there's the always disturbing, "I'd like to sop her up with a biscuit". Plus, my personal favorite that came from my sis-in-law's dad, "If your daddy would let me, I'd take my teeth out and just chew on them cheeks." It's not as though I think these people are actually gonna eat the Zoester, it's just a trend that I can't explain....And this trend is not isolated to just people I know, Jen and I are just as guilty! One of the favorite pastimes in our house is when Jen has the "eating" of baby feet, and then we sit and wonder why, after our beautiful little girl realized she had feet, she has decided the best place for them would be in her mouth. I myself enjoy the occasional side of baby ribs, and in turn Zoey laughs her head off when I do so. Is it something in our genetic makeup that causes us to feel this way? As far as I know, other things don't have the same effect. I've never once said, or heard someone say anything about eating a new puppy or kitten, or for that matter, I've never even looked at a baby calf and thought MAN! I'd love to eat the rib eye right off you!! (Although, arguably the last one would seem like the most acceptable one.) I'm curious if subconsciously we all think that ugly babies would taste horrible and that's why when we see them the only things that come to mind are our pathetic attempts at compliments like, "My what a cute little outfit he's wearing.", or "Boy she's such an observant little thing." when really we want to look at the parents and say "Holy Shit!! Did you drop him?!" And before you start commenting on how there's no such thing as an ugly baby, may I remind you that it's ok to admit it, we all know it's true, and besides, your secret's safe with me dear readers....
On the upside, I'm ecstatic that everyone wants to eat my darling little girl, especially considering the alternative. That being having a little ugo for a child. Now of course I have taken flack from my beloved for pointing out this fact but hey! when you got it flaunt it right? However bad it may seem, pretty people get all the breaks, so why wouldn't I be happy that people think of chewing off her little fingers instead of vomiting a little every time the light hits her....As a matter of fact, I made two different people promise me that when Zoey arrived they would let me know if she was as adorable as I (of course) thought she was, or if we had a "Visually Challenging" baby on our hands. And yes, if you were wondering that is the politically correct way to say ugly now, according to www.newspeakdictionary.com. Thankfully, we have a beautiful (delicious) little girl and couldn't be happier!! She's already helped us get better tables at restaurants, faster service from cashiers, and who knows, maybe one of these days, my adorable little girl will be famous and can take care of her old man....well a guy can dream can't he?
Till next time dear readers.....
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