Well dear readers, the day is quickly approaching. On Tuesday Jen and I went to the Dr and she's now walking around 2 centimeters dilated, and they've estimated Peanut weighing in at a whopping 8lbs 14oz. Now will she actually come out this big, I have my doubts, but with that in mind, our dr has decided that if Peanut's not out by April 30th, Jen is going to be induced at 7am that morning!! If you're keeping track, we are almost 39 weeks along, but apparently the baby is measuring closer to 41 weeks along so no worries, she's fully cooked, just stubborn like her mother and refusing to do what we want her to (foreshadowing anyone?). Now, with all the factoids outta the way, lemme tell you what's been goin on lately...
Now, everyone and their mother has a time honored, age ole, guranteeed way to make a baby decided to head south and come out. For some, it's a certain food. Others, it's a certain activity. For Jen, it's every single friggin suggestion that she hears or reads in any article or hears from anyone in general. For example, this past Monday Jen decided that we should go have Mexican food. Silly me thought it was to change up our normal, but when I saw the Himalayan sized pile of jalapenos she put on her food, I should have been tipped off. And when she added hot sauce, did I catch on...no. It was only when, after eating (and sweating) the entire meal that she decided that we should take a walk that it dawned on me that she was up to something. So I asked my dear sweet wife what was goin on, and she looked at me with a matter-of-fact look, and said "Oh?!, Didn't I let you know? I'm done being pregnant." I then politely attempted to inform her that it doesn't exactly work that way, and she "politely" explained to me, that she had cleaned the house, finished up EVERYTHING on her to-do lists, (can I get an Amen?!) done the bills, and packed her hospital bag, and therefore was done being pregnant. So when the spicy Mexican didn't work, she moved on to the next item. Sunday we had a blast letting our aunt Margie take a ton of beautiful pictures of us before Peanut makes her big entrance. While doing this, she mentioned that her sister (yes, you aunt Pat) went into labor after eating Long John Silver's fish. Anyone wanna guess where Jen had me take her for lunch....and dinner? Does anyone out there have any idea how greasy the fish at LJS is? And b-t-dub, I'm pretty sure that even though they fill a whole section of your plate with those little crunchy bits, that doesn't qualify as a side item, you CAN however (at least if you're visibly pregnant) ask for extra crunchies. As I'm sure you've guessed, our trip(s) to LJS produced no baby, so undeterred my better half evilly offered up my own personal kryptonite for our next culinary induction...the deliciousness known as Chinese buffet. MSG's be damned, I watched her plow through plate fulls of spicy chicken like a champion sled team racing for first in the Iditarod. All I'm afraid, for not, because once again...no baby. All these adventures did however, give me time to examine the decor in our bathroom...at great length. So after the food came up short, and the walking came up with no results, a co-worker informed Jen she was bringing Castor Oil to work. Now, I'm not sure if you're supposed to ingest this or use it as some sort of lube, but either way, at this point Jen's on her own...
On a side note,
According to many reliable sources, nipple stimulation and intercourse are two ways to cause labor to start. So for the record, I ruined the first option with an ill-timed giggle, and as for the second option...well let's say that there really is no good time to tell a story about a co-worker who liked to call it "Climbing the Mountain" when his wife was pregnant...
So ladies and gents, the next time I talk to you, we will have a new bundle of pooping, peeing, barfing, and crying joy, so wish us luck, and I'm sure the next post is gonna be a doozie so stay tuned.
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