I feel good...is something wrong??

This is the panicked message I received on Tuesday. Yes, my lovely wife was completely freaking out because she felt, wait for it...normal. "Should I call the Dr?", she asked me. Now, in my head, this is what I was thinking, "Uh...no, this is what you've been praying for for months now, and p.s. take off your pants!". What I said (because face it ladies, if guys actually said what they wanted to, most times it would end with p.s. take off your pants AND we'd be in a lot more trouble than we already are) was, "Honey, if you think that you need to call the Dr, then you absolutely should." So (of course) she decided that she would call the Dr, and after 24hrs of panicking over feeling completely awesome, we made the trip to the office and once again was able to hear Peanut's strong heartbeat. It should be noted here, that the only reason the Dr called us in is to make sure that Jenni wouldn't be stressed out over the holidays. However, by calling us in, she not only stressed Jen out, she sent her into an all out tailspin. So please, if there are any doctors that just happen to read this (AHEM, dear sis-in-law Susan) please understand that when you call a pregnant woman into your office for an unscheduled visit, make it known up front that there is NO NEED TO WORRY!

So here we are at 17 weeks already! Jen is convinced we need to go buy our very own Doppler to allow her to listen to the heartbeat whenever she sees fit, and I have to argue against her (which is as dangerous as filling your mouth with Pop Rocks and chugging a Coke) because I keep getting a vision of her walking around in public with a goo covered belly and the strangest looking ipod any one's ever seen. Seriously, think about that vision for a minute and you'll realize why we don't own one...it's disturbing. Speaking of strange looks and such, please allow me to dust off my soap box for a minute, cause I SAYA! I said, I said I SAYA, I feel a sermon comin on!

Listen, I completely understand that for some folks, I don't exactly fit the stereotype of "normal" looking. And for the most part, I even take pride in the fact that I seem to scare the very old (and young) with my mere presence. But time has come to put something to rest, I DO NOT BEAT MY WIFE! Now, please retract that look of confusion (or horror) and continue to read, I'll explain. It's been understood that Jen is the balanced one in our relationship, the "normie", or if you'll indulge me the yin to my yang, the Paula Abdul to my MC Skat Kat (yes I know the name of the cartoon rapper from the video), or the Zippidy to my Doodah. Ok, so maybe the last one was a little ridiculous but you get my point. But here lately, thanks in large part to the blessing of a gift we call hormones, I've been getting nothing but mean and hateful looks from the fairer sex out there. Whenever Jenni decides to cry, like when she sees an old couple, or a baby, or a cute puppy, or hears a song, or gets hungry, or when the damn doctor CALLS US IN FOR NO REASON, or (strangely enough) when she sees Marshika Hargitay (yes the Law and Order chic) on tv, and I'm there to comfort her, everyone looks at me like I'm the next Son of Sam. It's as if every woman out there shoots daggers out of her eyes and directs them at me, and silently tells Jen, "Honey, you don't have to take this kind of treatment, he's a bad man." And does my beautiful wife help me out here? Maybe cry at home? Or at least not in public? No. So there I sit at (fill in any place here) smiling awkwardly as she sobs into a never ending stream of tissues. (Which b-t-dub comes from MY pockets so she doesn't have to carry them!) So please all of you store clerks, restaurant hosts and waiters, movie ticket takers, seemingly innocent passers by, and little old ladies (I'm talking to YOU lady from the doctor's office!) remember that she's crying for any number of reasons, not because her mean looking husband just roughed her up out back with a phone book. Hmmm, maybe I should get a shirt that says "I didn't make her cry... she's just pregnant"....

Well enough of that...Oh! I almost forgot, we now officially have a baby's room, which is conveniently located in our very own new house!! We are about 80% unpacked and sailing right along. And if you're wondering how it was to move with a pregnant wife who enjoys being in charge....well, I'll fill you in on that one some other time. Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!

P.S. Do me a favor, and if you like this blog, recommend it to others and there's now a link to email any of the blogs you find particularly interesting near the end of the last paragraph.