Yes readers, this pretty much seems to be the sentiment that runs through my head on a regular basis lately. We are at week 27 already, can you believe it? I swear it seems that yesterday I was saying to Jenni, "Hey I think I'm gonna start a blog about this pregnancy thing." So to say things are a little crazy are putting it mildly.
First of all, we have a painted nursery with a crib installed and according to Jen's ever increasing bust size, I can say that Peanut will be well fed to say the least. Now, as a man, what I see is that we have a room to put the baby in, a place for her to sleep, and food ready to be given. What Jen sees, is (apparently) the most under prepared room in all of baby history! I've seen a lot of to do lists in my day, but never have I seen a list of lists to make!! You heard me right, the love of my life brought home a list of lists "we" need to make and then of course get rid of in a timely manner. So as we speak, lists of items to buy, clean, assemble, get rid of, hide in storage, and make "baby friendly" are being compiled and given to me to review as if I could possible have anything to add. Which, by the way has yet to happen to this point. All I know is that there were less items being checked and re-checked by the crack team of rocket scientists assembled at NASA for a shuttle launch.
One fun thing that's been going on is that Peanut has really began to try out her dance moves, and (to my delight) is now bashing Jenni's insides with such violent force that I can feel her on the outside now. And if you were wondering, yes apparently I've already annoyed my daughter, due to the fact that the other night while I was talking to her, she decided she'd had enough and kicked me in the mouth. It's here that I must (for reasons of tradition) insert the similarities of a baby moving to the coolest scene in Alien where the little creature busts out of that guys stomach. Which I have to say is one of the best parts of watching Jen's bump wiggle and move. This comparison is a necessary part of pregnancy...well at least for me it is. Just like every time we fly anywhere it's necessary for me to slam down the widow shade, turn to Jen and say, "There's something on the wing, Some...thing on the wing" and you can bet your ass I do my best William Shattner voice while I say it.
So, what else can I say? We are about %98 sure that Peanut's name is gonna be Zoey, about once a week, me and Jen take turns freaking out about the impending "bundle of joy" (mine usually include bolting upright and saying with bulging eyes "what the hell did we do?"). You know, all the quote un-quote normal things that soon to be parents go through. I do know that I'm excited to be going to out parenting class soon. Not because I really wanna learn how to change a diaper, (believe me, I got that part down) but more for the entertainment value of it all. Cause let's be honest, there's no way I'm gonna be able to be in a classroom all day with things like fake baby's and plastic vagina's and not get in trouble somehow. When I mention this to Jen (as I stifle giggles) she works on her evil mom looks and threatens my life. But we both know in our hearts how that day's gonna go....(Psst, don't worry, I promise to write all the juicy details here for your viewing pleasure)
So until next time, I hope you enjoy this update, don't forget to tell all your friends to read this (gotta be famous you know) and remember, tying little action figures on the end of strings attached to your pregnant wife's clothes to make her look like a balloon in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is only funny to you... ;)
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Enjoy all this cutesy little "baby blogging" while you can, David, because in about 18 months from now you won't have time for anything other than damage control and the occasional shower. Infants are a cake walk compared to a toddler. Nothing quite prepared us for how "spirited" Stella was going to be once she learned how to walk. Notice what time I'm writing this? Yeah, this is the only time of day that no one digs in the toilet while I pause to tie my shoe or rubs Desitin in my hair while I change the baby.
ReplyDeleteStella can't stop moving - even sways if her feet aren't moving.
Enjoy your baby and how immobile she is - Enjoy just holding her. Enjoy watching what you want to watch on TV because after she discovers the remote, kiss that sucker goodbye. The only things toddlers want to play with are buttons, cell phones and lipstick. Oh, and don't fall victim to the false confidence of baby-proofing, as this is only a myth. No matter what you do to lock them out, trap them in or cushion - THEY WILL ALWAYS FIND DANGER.
In other words - don't freak out about the baby - once you get passed the stage where both of you, as a team, take 30 minutes trying delicately to put on her undershirt because you think bending her arms into sleeves will break them, you'll realize that the new baby thing is only an ordeal because everyone wants to see it.
They sleep all the time so live it up, blog, take long showers, and appreciate the serenity of being in the bathroom alone - it doesn't last long, brother. A little over a year from now, that tiny baby will be tearing ass through the house holding a fist full of your beard in one hand and a serrated knife in the other.
Happy (almost) birthday, by the way and congratulations on becoming a father. You'll do great.