First of all, I'd like to say something to Peanut. Hey Peanut, just wanna let you know that I love you more than anything in the world and you have to understand that what you're about to read is how I was feeling today and has nothing to do with how I feel about you now. I'm sure you're gonna think your old man is crazy and probably laugh at me but I just wanted to make sure you know how important you are to me. Oh! And what the hell were you thinking trying to leave the house dressed like that?! Are you insane? (Just covering my bases.)
That being said, I wanna tell you dear readers about the crazy day I've just had. We are officially 20 weeks along and Jenni is looking more beautiful each day. I find the growing baby bump absolutely adorable even if she thinks she looks like a freak. Today was our second sonogram, and boy was it a doozie!! I have never wanted to see another penis in my entire life more than I wanted to see one today. However, as the fates may have it, my son did not have a penis. Instead, Erin the tech informed us that we have a beautiful baby girl on the way. And yes, I did make sure and ask her if she was sure he wasn't just being shy and hiding his junk. After she laughed at me, (rude) she informed us that she looks about 5 different times before she actually says anything. Now to say I was shocked would be the understatement of the century!
Don't get me wrong, I am still absolutely in love with Peanut. But in one fail swoop, I went from seeing my boy win the state football championship to thinking about boyfriends, dance lessons, wedding gowns, menstruation (yuck by the way), makeup, boyfriends, prom dresses, the Jonas Brothers (screaming insane girls and their miserable dads that have to take them to the concerts), training bras, boyfriends and every single Disney princess movie that my dear sweet sister made me watch when she was growing up. You know, it's a lot like asking for a steak in a restaurant and them bringing you fish. Sure, both of them are food, but obviously completely different.
Now I know what you all are saying, because I've heard it all before. "She's gonna be the biggest daddy's girl in the world and you're gonna be completely whipped!" I'm fully aware of this fact and that's what has me going crazy as we speak. I can actually feel myself getting older right now. I'm convinced this is God's way of getting me back for all the bad things I've ever done, and boy is He giving it to me good! Just the idea that eventually I'm gonna have to look at some walking erection sitting in my living room talking about how he promises to have her back by curfew makes me want to storm through downtown like Godzilla in Hong Kong. Sure, am I well aware that this is years from now, but this is what happens when you go from "Hey son how many girls did you dance with?" to "I swear to God, that if you don't go put some more clothes on, I will lock you in the basement till you're 30!"
So after sitting in shock for a few hours, and realizing that in fact there is no boy in there, I've made up my mind that having a girl is probably gonna be just as bad as I imagine it, but only because if she turns out to be as beautiful as her mother I'm in for a lot of sleepless nights, and way more gray hair.
And for those of you who are thinking, "Hmm, this post doesn't have near the flair that the others have...." Give me a friggin break, I just found out I'm gonna have a girl!
